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Thursday, March 4, 2010

sad, depressed, aching heart... all at the same time

            It's been some time since I am feeling this emotion. I don't recommend this post to be read by those people who don't want to feel lonely. I don't want you to be in the same shoes as mine.
            I've watched the video that made leader Kim Hyun Joong cried in the last persona encore. It shows the previous performances of their group and also the messages that their fans gave to them. It was so touching, knowing that they are celebrity, but they appreciated the vid and that even made them cry. The message was translated by one of the Triple S (fanclub name) and there Kim Hyun Joong said that after all these years, he's grown into an adult and the fans are still with him. He hopes that the fans will stay with him till he grows old, till the day he cannot walk. It was only the second time I've seen him cry, and I found myself crying with him. I've watched it over and over, which made me cry even more. I tried to divert my attention so that I won't feel bad, but then I saw this blog that has posted a fan account regarding her encounter with the last concert. There  she said that it hurts her a lot to see Kim Hyun Joong sad and crying.She felt that he KHJ is already tired but must keep going for the fans. That she wanted to say to him that it's okay if you want to stop now, she will understand if he wants to be free and be happy. Tears keep rolling down on my face now. It won't stop. Stubborn tears. I felt her sadness for him. That also made me think that if you really love the person, sometimes you have to let them go for their own happiness no matter how hard it is. I don't know if I can bear that day when I have to let him go to be his ownself, to stop loving him so he can choose the person he wants to be with forever, to be free... Just the thought of it makes me want to break down and cry....T_T


*Listening to Wings of the world by SS501

SS501 - Wings Of The World  (English Translation)

One day in my dreams, a small candle light approached me
Then I would wake up unable to remember that dream

That short introduction and the small wind, I cannot forget now

I remember, we were the sky's day
The natural world and for that dream
We can do it, always the same dream, the happy smile, a full place
We can make it

With the night sky and the remaining starlight, please give it to me
And I confessed to you with your eyes closed and the wide smile

With short breaths, the smal greeting, I cannot forget it now

I remember, we were the sky's day
The natural world and for that dream
We can do it, always the same dream, the happy smile, a full place
We can make it

If its tiring, take a rest, and fold those weary wings
Laugh, can you see that small candlight? That world?

I remember, we were the sky's day
The natural world and for that dream
We can do it, always the same dream, the happy smile, a full place
We can make it

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